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It is a Sunday morning and a man comes to find his wife dead. The maid said she was cleaning the kitchen, the mailman said he was delivering mail, the nanny said he was teaching the kids, and the farmer said he was harvesting his crops. Who done it?
Answer:The mailman because the mail does not come on Sunday.
Answer:None. It was Noah, not Moses.
A plane crashes on the exact border between the US and Mexico. In which country would the survivors be buried?
Answer:You wouldn't bury the survivors-they're alive!
There are three rooms. The first one is filled with very important papers. The second one is filled with money. The third one is filled with jewelry. One day all of these rooms burst into fire. Which room did the policemen put out the fire in first?
Answer:None of them. Policemen don't put out fires. Firemen do.
Answer:The current president. It does not change.
Answer:Non of them, coconuts grow on coconut trees, not bananas.
A bird has 7 eggs. If a dinosaur was to eat one egg off the bird, how many eggs would the bird have left?
Answer:None! Dinosaurs are extinct!
Answer:I am money!
If 100 people get on a train at Liverpool station at 10:25 A.M, and 40 get off at London station at 11:06 A.M, how much is a cup of coffee?
Answer:£2.50, because the question is how much is a cup of coffee. =)
Answer:8,because thumbs don't count.
Answer:0. The rest of the birds got scared and flew away.
Answer:You draw a square with 3 lines in the middle.
A man lives on the 100 floor of an apartment. On rainy days he goes all the way up, but on sunny days he goes half way and takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why?
Answer:He is short. He can only reach the button for the 50th floor on the elevator. On rainy days he used his umbrella.
Answer:4 tablets (one now and every 1/2 hour after that)
Answer:No, it does not have feelings.
Answer:Because they live on the opposite side of the world!
Answer:Because the elephant had a bigger trunk.
There are 5 houses. One is made out of red bricks, one made of blue bricks, one made of yellow bricks, a house of purple bricks, what is the green house made out of?
Answer:Glass! Because it is a greenhouse! Not a green colored house!